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Outwit. Outplay. Outlast: Mitt Romney

November 5, 2011 Leave a comment

Survivor: To Remain Alive or in Existence.

With the Holidays upon us, and Primary Season around the corner, it’s time to check-up, Survivor style, on how the Republican candidates are faring the media ringer. So does Mitt Romney prove that slow and steady wins the race? Will the Conservatives accept his rational ideas? Or do nice guys and people who draw the ire of Occupy Wall Street finish last?
Note: Because of the length of this episode, we have to separate by commercial breaks, so make sure to seek out the previous two blogs focusing on Bachmann & Perry and Herman Cain.

The One Who Wins The Million By Virtue Of Not Screwing Up, Before Being Ticked That The IRS Claims Half Of It In Income Tax

This Hat Says It, So It Must Be True. Either That Or This Hat Is Trying WAY Too Hard To Get Its Intentions Across

I’ve alluded to this before in these Survivor-style blogs, but Mitt Romney’s been put through the ringer, not once, but twice. First time in 2008, he caved under the barrage of flip-flopping charges, and inexperience with running for President, and utterly failed. 3 or 4 years later, and he’s come back again for more, this time with responses to his flip-flopping charges. No scandals are coming out, no questions he hasn’t heard before, no surprises. If there were, they would have come out by now. But no, Romney kept himself out of trouble since 2008 so he would have nothing new to deal with. Master the old stuff, and you can look like a pro.

He doesn’t really have anything new in a good way, but at least he doesn’t have anything new in an old way. He can handle the media, and he can handle his fellow candidates fairly well.  He doesn’t have to surge ahead. He can just sit around and let the Primaries come to him. He’s even doing well in Iowa, which he’s historically terrible at. All that, and he’s already started going directly after Obama for 2012.

Essentially, he only has one big problem: His Own Party.

I was recently listening to an episode of “On Point with Tom Ashbrook” this week, a program on NPR, and its exploration of Romney’s relation with his own party entitled simply, “Mitt Romney and the GOP.” Talking with various Conservative and political commentators, as well as the callers into the program, it’s interesting to hear people’s raw opinions on the man. Basically, Conservatives and Tea Partiers hate him because he’s not true to their values. A lot of people of the Christian faith hate him because he’s Mormon.

Like the Picture, Dislike the Implication

Now, if worst comes to worst for them and they’re faced with the choice of Romney vs. Obama, they won’t say, but for now, as ridiculous and idiotic as their reasons are, Romney will not have their support during the Primaries. The question is, can he overcome the apparently massive hate for him? Can he overcome perceptions of flip-flopping?

His attraction to Independents won’t matter until the general election, so until then, if he can get there, his biggest challenge will be his own party, which so far doesn’t really have a viable alternative. Unless you can’t Ron Paul, which you can’t because The Media says that Ron Paul cannot be counted, and is just a black hole to be ignored.

See? Mitt Romney is Walking On Water. Mitt Romney Is Therefore Jesus.

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Outwit. Outplay. Outlast: Bachmann and Perry

November 5, 2011 3 comments

The Tribe Has Spoken. Oh Wait, We Have To Do A Recount.

Still a few months out from Primary season, and just about every candidate has not only shot themselves in the foot, but the leg, the abdomen, the buttocks, the other foot, an ear, a pinky finger, and that guy that Dick Cheney shot, who is kept in a target practice room in Republican Headquarters. But like all non-incumbent candidates before them, it’s a race of less mistakes. Or the least mistakes anybody cares about, and/or notices. After all, Howard Dean’s Scream wasn’t that important, but it was very visible. Because of that, John Kerry won the Democratic nomination. Was John Kerry better than Howard Dean? I don’t know, but Kerry didn’t “Whoo!”

The same is ever-true for this election, and even more so. Looking back on the last election, we had a ton of professional veterans that would have made at least somewhat decent Presidents. This year? It’s a bunch of snot-nosed rookies. Fred Thompson’s been around, so he doesn’t say stupid things. Same with Rudy Giuliani. All his scandals  have been raked over, and his likelihood of saying stupid things is also very low. Victims of extremely low numbers last go-around, either of them would be viewed as Gods if they entered this time around. But nope, the only candidates from 2008 that came back are Mitt Romney and Ron Paul, but as the media has made it very clear, Ron Paul doesn’t really matter, even though like Romney, he’s also stayed very steady, if even gaining support.

So, let’s take stock of the current Republican Survivor contestants. Note: At this point in the season, I, a politically-minded Jeff Probst, have already “voted off” Jon Huntsman (Maybe for the China Season), Gary Johnston (Only if everybody else gets Dysentery), Newt Gingrich (Don’t worry, he’ll be back for All-Star Season), Rick Santorum (It’s the name) and Ron Paul (You know, because of the media and stuff).

Note: Because of the length of this episode, we have to separate by commercial breaks as it were, so make sure to seek out the other two blogs focusing on Herman Cain and Mitt Romney.

The One Quietly Sitting Near You While You Sleep Waiting For the Right Moment To Strike You With A Coconut

A Re-Creation of Bachmann's Campaign in a Month

Sure, she’s mostly harmless, but there’s always a chance she could do something. That makes for great entertainment. Or did make for great entertainment, as it were, as people who dressed up as Michele Bachmann for Halloween, only to be mistaken for Sarah Palin the whole night found out. Forever living at the bottom of polls, Bachmann is a Conservative back-up back-up, for when both Cain and Perry go bottoms up.  Also, Bachmann seen as sort of crazy, and if she ever did get nominated, there’s ample material to prove it in commercials.  Fortunately, nobody will have to face that prospect. She’s a one-trick Taunton that’s about to be cut open due to lack of funding. Oh, and how’s that Tea Party support working out?

The One Plotting A Well-Timed Comeback On Redemption Island, That Might or Might Not End Horribly

Ron Paul would be still be on Redemption Island due to his secret Ninja skills, but again, The Media kicked him out. Apparently Ninja Skills aren't exiting enough for today's political climate.

If George W. Bush was seen as a kid in Elementary school, then Rick Perry will be seen as a college frat boy. He may have some grasp of the issues and reality, but he constantly talks like he’s a nerd trying to talk to a hot girl at a bar. Nobody knows what’s coming out, but damn if he isn’t trying. People got tired of him after his poor debate performances, which Alec Baldwin hilariously parodied. Then Herman Cain stole all his thunder, which means nobody was really looking at him when he gave a speech in New Hampshire. Those who saw it think considerably less of him, but the vast majority of people did not see it. As far as they know, Rick Perry is in a hole somewhere. So, Perry is seizing the moment of Herman Cain’s weakness  and trying to take back the position of top choice for Conservatives. He’s going to continue performing in debates, he’s portraying a regular guy image, he’s trying to befriend Conservative media and he’s telling everybody to give him a second look. Will they? It’s certainly possible with the downfall of Herman Cain under way, but he only have a couple of months until primary season. Not much time to rebuild.

Now it’s time for commercial break. Here’s Rick Perry sounding all too happy that Obama is “destroying” the economy  because he reads a teleprompter. I wonder what Perry was reading while doing this commercial?

So Yeah, That Happened: Florida & Herman Cain Edition

September 26, 2011 2 comments

I Think EVERYBODY Should Have Free Extra Cheese, For An Extra $1.99!

Apparently, there was a Florida Straw Poll over the weekend, on Saturday in fact, a fact that I was completely oblivious to until the news told me not only that this existed, but Herman Cain won it. Yes, Herman “My Pizza Places Look Like A Gas Station Subway” Cain was decided as the #1 pick for Republican Floridians. Or at least, for those Republican Floridians who bothered to attend.

Now, I’ve already waxed about the stupidity of the Iowa Straw Poll, but Florida is a little different. Granted, it’s still a straw poll, which by their very nature, are very bad at predicting Presidential candidates, or anything for that matter. But Florida actually has a good track record at picking candidates the last 3 times the poll has been held, picking Ronald Reagan, George Bush 1, and Bob Dole.

How The Mighty Have Fallen, And the Unlikely Have Risen... Like Pizza Dough!

Wait, where’s George Bush 2 in that? What about John McCain? Oh, that’s right, they haven’t had one in some 15 years because the idea of a Florida Straw Poll is inherently stupid. Think about it, the benefits of winning any Straw Poll are temporary at best, and the thought of spending valuable amounts of time and resources campaigning for a Straw Poll in the truly massive state of Florida is exceedingly ill-advised. That’s why Mitt Romney announced months in advance that he didn’t give a crap about any of these Straw Polls, anymore.

Still, even with not a crap given, Romney still got 14%, a very close 3rd. You know who actually made an effort in Florida? Herman Cain. Why? Because, not learning from the misguided mistake of Tim Pawlenty, he actually decided that the Florida Straw Poll was a good place to judge his progress in running for President. Unlike Pawlenty however, Cain was vindicated, and he will now continue until he finds another reason that he shouldn’t be President like he has twice before, before reconsidering.

I Was CEO of This For 10 Years!

That’s right kids, Herman Cain has thought to himself, ‘Maybe I shouldn’t be President’ not once, but twice now.

And who can blame him? Up until this point, Cain’s presence has only led to three things:

  1. An influx of Pizza jokes.
  2. Racial Diversity in the Republican Debates
  3. A Possible Audition for a Cabinet Position

Cain says that this win translates to “momentum,” but it’s illusionary momentum, if that. The other candidates think that Cain is a nice guy, and might make for a good VP, but for the people, there’s a lack of name-recognition, real political experience and let’s face it, that whole Pizza thing is a huge ‘Joke’ maker that he will never live down, nor does he want to, as he’s currently considering the slogan, “I Will Deliver,” apparently loving the joke lines Saturday Night Live writes to make fun of him. To put it simply, Herman Cain still has no chance of winning the Presidency, and selecting him for VP seems to me like a possible misguided suicide move. Again, to run for the highest political offices, you kind of have to be politically savvy, or have been in it at any point in your life, and no, running the Federal Reserve in Kansas City for a year doesn’t count.

Sorry Herman, but your Presidential Pizza is cold, soggy, and has less flavor than Pizza Hut pepperoni grease. See what I mean about the Pizza jokes? They write themselves AND they’re irresistible.

He Should Really Wear This Hat More Often; Increases His Coolness From Nilch Levels

So Yeah, That Happened: Iowa & Tim Pawlenty Edition

August 16, 2011 4 comments

After the Debate on Thursday, I said this:

[Iowa is] historically bad at being an indication of the eventual Republican nominee due to their emphasis on Homeland values. Still, everybody puts way too much emphasis on its importance.

Well, didn’t that come true? Iowa, perpetually starved for people to care about them, decided many years ago that they’d be the first line of decision when it came to Presidential Primaries. Granted, there are others just days, weeks and even months afterwords, but Iowa is 1st of 49. As a result, everybody kind of looks to Iowa even though, like I said before, they’re historically bad at predicting the eventual winner.

In the last election for instance, Mitt Romney won the Straw Poll, Mike Huckabee won the Caucus, and of course John McCain won the nomination, having come in 4th in the Caucus.  Past winners of the Straw Poll include Pat Robertson, George H.W. Bush when he was running against Reagan, Bob Dole and Phil Gramm. Point is, that except for the 2000 Republican field, the Iowa Straw Poll has gotten in wrong, EVERY TIME.

The Iowa Caucus, aka Primary, has a better track record, but that’s mainly because the whole state gets a say. Granted, it’s still skewed for the country because Iowa is such a Cliche of itself, but the Straw Poll attracts a very biased sampling of voters. For one, you have to pay $30 just to get in. That’s right, you have to pay to vote! Granted, that also gets you dinner, but still! That’s only going to attract hardcore supporters and voters! By the way, you have to be at least “16 1/2” years old to vote. There’s also allegations that you can buy the vote, and so on. All in all, 17,000 votes were cast, with the winner receiving only 4,823 Votes. Hardly a representative sample for anything.

Keeping this in mind, here’s this year’s result:

This Is On You, Iowa

Seeing these results and numbers, as frivolous as they may be, still prompted Bachmann to do this:

Let's Play: Spot the Bachmann

During the speech that triumphed her great victory, Bachmann was quoted as saying, “You have just sent a message that Barack Obama will be a one-term president.” To which there was a great applause from the crowd, echoing Thursday’s debate where after moderator Bret Baier told the candidates not to grandstand, Bachmann specifically grandstanded by saying that Obama would be a one-term President. Only problem is that for Bachmann, it kind of doesn’t matter in the long-term. Bachmann seems to be sinking most everything she has in Iowa because that’s the only place she’s assured a win. It could also be the only state she wins.

It Was Also Selling for $52

Bachmann is a polarizing figure, but polarizing in the fact that most everybody dislikes her in some regard, but for the far, far right of the party and Tea Party, she’s like the best thing ever. Still Independents and Moderates will probably avoid her like the plague. Iowa just so happens to be far right with their Homeland values, which Bachmann embraces. The fact that she’s putting forth that she was born in Iowa also kind of makes her the hometown favorite, even though she current presides over Minnesota. Still, with all of that, she almost lost to Ron Paul.

Recently, it seems like stereotypes are reinforcing themselves around me. I walked into a small-town Virginia antique store over the weekend and found all manner of racist and southern pride paraphernalia including Rebel Flags and a book from 1942 called, “Little Black Sambo,” that was described by the store as “beautifully illustrated.” Now, I’d like to think that Southern stores wouldn’t think stuff like this is OK, or even describe it in a positive manner, but that’s what they had, and it wasn’t even the only blackfaced toy or item in the store.

The 75-Year Old Political Virgin

Then there’s Iowa. I’d like to think that people from Iowa are like people from the rest of America. I’d like to think that they have the same amount of intelligence, instead of a black hole of stupidity, but this poll kind of actively goes out of its way to prove me wrong. After all, Ron Paul almost won. Think about it. Ron Paul almost won what many consider an important point in choosing the Republican nomination, and assessing your campaign. Ron Paul isn’t a fringe candidate in Iowa, no, he’s actually considered a contender and somebody they want to not only run against Barack Obama, but they think he can win against him. Not only that, but they think he’d be a great President when he gets into office.

Now, here at Random Independent, we believe that when comedian Patton Oswalt made a joke about an 120-year old President who ordered everybody to marry a Pelican, that he was actually referring to Ron Paul. And Iowa almost declared him the winner of their Straw Poll. As if we needed yet another reason to dismiss Iowa, the Iowa Caucus and the Iowa Straw Poll, Iowa makes it loud and clear that they like Ron Paul.

Moving on…

I Have the Courage To Stand, But As Soon As The Going Gets Rough, I Am Sitting the Hell Down

At least he had the best campaign poster...

Now knowing what we do about the Iowa Straw Poll, it’s insane that anybody would care that much about it, much less put all their resources into doing well in it, much less leaving the race if you don’t finish in the top 2. So naturally, in hindsight, not only is Timothy James Pawlenty insane, but a gargantuan idiot that would have made a poor President to say the least. After all, if he’ll put all his eggs into one massively stupid basket, maybe he’d also station all of the troops in France on the off-chance that Germany invades once more.

Just because you’re the first one to declare yourself as running for President isn’t going to give you an advantage either, especially if you’re as exiting as a This Old House rerun. In addition to failing to energize any sort of crowd, he also failed to get any attention, or disagree with anybody. During a debate, he coined the term “ObamneyCare” in attacking Mitt Romney’s Massachusetts healthcare system, but then went back on it when asked about it later. He was too nice a guy, or he was just weak. Either way, Pawlenty was the opposite of Presidential material, and never had a chance in hell. He thought could turn it around in Iowa, but he never even came close. So yeah, better late than never, but looking back, never is all we should have seen of Pawlenty in this race.

I would say that he’s just one less candidate we have to deal with, but now Rick Perry is in on the race. It just never ends… Until next November, that is.

A Good Looking Rascal: Rick Perry Decides He Too Can Be President

August 15, 2011 1 comment

James Richard "Rick" Perry

Button!

Rick Perry has been teasing America since May with the notion of running, but probably wisely stayed-out in order to feast on the blood currently in the water. And let’s face it, he has a lot of positives going for him. The economy is a mess, so Perry can give the statistics saying how great the economy was in Texas when he presided over it.

He’s a Tea Partier without the crazy, the Texas without the Bush, and a Conservative that Conservatives can rally around. Since he’s arriving late, he has had time to observe weaknesses of the other candidates, and he’s had more time to prepare his talking points. Exposure is also not an issue since the media is more than helping him with that. Bill Clinton even said he was “Tickled” by him entering the race, and called him a “Good Looking Rascal.”

The only problem is that he seems to fall more on the far right side of things, which makes him less appealing to Independents such as myself. I haven’t seen him in much action so far, but he doesn’t exactly seem like the type of person willing to reach out to the other side. He’s an unabashed Texan after all. Still, Perry is throwing a rather large wrench into the thick of the fight, making it essentially an instant 3-way race between Perry, Romney & Bachmann.

Alternatively if Rick drops out, the bus can also facilitate Perry the Platypus' Presidential Campaign

Then there’s also the factor that he’s going to cannibalize all of the current candidates except for Ron Paul & Herman Cain, who run off the weird power of cults or something. He’s going to take away Conservatives & Tea Partiers away from Bachmann, and he’s going to confuse everybody else since he looks a lot like Romney, Santorum, etc. Essentially, Jason Sudeikis could play half the Republican field in this upcoming season of Saturday Night Live.

But there is one big plus for Rick Perry that Video Game Lovers & Nerds everywhere can approve of, and that’s the fact that Rick Perry is the first Presidential candidate, to my knowledge to care anything, and be seen with the popular video game, Mass Effect. Yes, in his first Campaign video, essentially laying out his record and general love for America, Perry is seen at Bioware‘s offices in Austin, Texas looking at Mass Effect 2, while the narrator talks about American ingenuity. Granted, Bioware is a Canadian company, but they opened an office in Texas under Perry’s watch! Not many people will notice it’s 5-second inclusion in the video, but this political/video game Nerd did.

Just remember, when you decide who you want to be the Republican to be nominated for President, only Rick Perry, cares about Mass Effect.

Perry Sees A Real Hero

A Photo Collage of the Repulbican Iowa Debate Winners & Losers

August 12, 2011 2 comments

"So let's say there's a bus full of children speeding off a bridge, and to save them you have to raise taxes by $10..." - Ezra Klein on the Hard Stance of the Republicans on Taxes

Loser: If at least half of this current crop of candidates actually won the Presidency, they'd instantly be in the running for Worst. President. Ever.

 

Loser: Not even seeming like a Republican at times, Huntsman buried himself with every unprofessional word and action he talked about. If there's one thing I know about him after tonight though, it's that he's Proud of basically everything he's ever laid a finger on.

Loser: Herman, who?

Loser: Between the constant bashing by Ron Paul and the thunderous applause of the audience, there was clearly a dislike of any Foreign Wars.

 

Winner: Not only is Michele Bachman stealing away her crazy and discrimination thunder, but she's just sitting quietly doing her thing until she'll called on for VP again or a Cabinet position. Either way, she's sitting pretty with less of the hassle.

Winner: Coming in late in the race, he gets a huge lead and the media attention while the weaker candidates get shoved under the rug.

Winner: Coming out early on his "7 Points to Fix the Economy," Romney had the only solid backing for a problem presented to any of the canidates all night. He'll keep his lead for at least a bit longer.

Winner: Sure, he'll never win crap, but he did an inadvertent job of turning the spotlight onto himself, confusing the crowd with his fast-talking into liking him, and he threw several people off game and off message. He's still crazy, but he livens things up.

Loser: Although he won favor with the Fox News commentators afterwords, his arguments were mostly superfluous, with his performance instantly forgettable.

Draw: Bachmann is Bachmann. Her hardline sticking to her principles would never work as Presidency, but for now, she's a Tea Party darling, which will make her very powerful through the early Caucuses.

Loser: Coming off as more than a bully than a fiery President, Pawlenty sealed his fate by picking a fight with anybody he could.

Loser: Although the whole moderating panel did a great job and asked legitimate questions all through the night, they were constantly attacked by the candidates and booed by the audience to the point I felt sorry for them.

Winner: For once, American Idol didn't have the most annoying audience on TV. Iowa beat them with hecklers, yellers, booers, and loud applause every time Ron Paul spoke. They wanted to hear what they wanted to hear, and nothing else.

Loser: Whoever picked the formatting of the debate, and I assume it's the network since they aired and mostly moderated it, did an awful job at it. candidates disappeared for long stretches of time, while some candidates hogged whole portions of the debate. In the end, it helped nobody, and even hurt a lot of the candidates.

Loser: Although 2 of the Republican candidates were from Minnesota, you would never know it with the amount of bashing that went on between them. Between them and Jesse Ventura as Governor, it's amazing the state is still livable.

Loser: In addition to being the home to that annoying crowd, they're historically bad at being an indication of the eventual Republican nominee due to their emphasis on Homeland values. Still, everybody puts way too much emphasis on its importance.

 

"I love America, and Barack Obama is not America, so I do not love Barack Obama." - Basically Everyone's Closing Remark

5 Stories You Should Care About More Than Casey Anthony

June 29, 2011 1 comment

Casey Anthony: The Savior of Cable News For The Summer of 2011

Summer is a hard time for news. With all the summer vacations and holidays, news has a hard time mustering up the energy to happen, or at least reporters and anchors have a hard time mustering up the energy to report it. And who can blame them? Your audience is outside so they’re not watching TV, the weather is nicer outside than it is in a news studio, and there’s human interest stories a plenty. As a result, this summer in particular has been mired in the doldrums of stories the media is trying to get you care about in order to watch them. The death of Osama Bin Laden was really the last big news story, and since then we’ve had floods, fires, Weiners and that’s really it in terms of sustainable news that can headline your broadcast night after night. So, what’s a cable news network supposed to fill their time with to keep you interested? The Casey Anthony trial.

But I say, “No. Resist.” To reasons I will get to later in this article, you must resist because there’s actually stuff you should be caring about, so I’ve created a game for myself. Whenever a news anchor tries to tell me of the happenings that day, that hour, that minute in the Casey Anthony trial, I’ve been playing, “Spot The Real News.” You should play it too. The following is 5 things you will find, and therefore 5 things you should care about more than Casey Anthony.

In all honesty, if most of these people got the nomination, Obama wouldn't even have to campaign to win.

#1: The Republican Race: Yes, we are in fact about a year and a half before the next Presidential race, and about 6 months before the race really starts going, but the candidates are filing in, coming out and wanting your vote. If you don’t pay attention now, you could end of like Iowa. In a recent poll, 7% of Iowans say they would vote for Ron Paul for the Republican nomination, and 10% say they would vote for former Godfather’s Pizza CEO, Herman Cain. This means that at least 17% of the people surveyed in this poll are idiots, because they’d either put a crazy man in office, who you could easily make drop out of the race if you simply sent a gaggle of kids to mess up his lawn, or a man that used to own a small, mediocre pizza chain with no political experience. Do not become like these people. There are no less than 7 current candidates at the moment, with Mitt Romney in a near dead-heat with Tea Partier Michele Bachmann. It’s old guard Republican vs. new guard? Who’ll win out? It’s hard to tell at the moment, but if you tune out until January, you’ll miss the race to find the answer. Also, if you miss the craziness Trump brought, I give you Jonathon Sharkey, who not only looks like porn star Ron Jeremy, but also is a self-proclaimed vampire.

This Chart Is Shocking On So Many Levels

#2: Afghanistan: Yeah, I know it’s a war in the Middle East, but it’s important because we’re still there, despite a stunningly high number of Americans saying we shouldn’t be there. Despite this, the President is opting for a slower withdrawal that would keep the war going until at least 2014, to the criticism of some, who say we should finish the job, no matter how long it takes since we’ve been there for some 10-years anyways. Also, did you know that President Obama has quadrupled the number of soldiers in Afghanistan since he took over from President Bush? These are the types of things you learn when you’re not watching Nancy Grace.

Benazir Bhutto may have been a great leader, but her husband is the literal Worst.

#3: Pakistan: So, if we’ve seen one clear sign in the aftermath of the death of Osama Bin Laden, it’s that the Pakistani government is kind of one big jerk. You know, hiding known terrorists, arresting those who help us catch terrorists, and getting mad when we kill a terrorist without their permission. Etc., so on. Problem is, Pakistan holds nuclear weapons, so we have to be careful in dealing with them. Also, there’s the fact that we’ve given Pakistan some 20-billion dollars since 2001, and we continue to give them billions every year. Why? I don’t know because nobody cares enough to ask or do anything about it. However, if there was outrage like there is to get tickets to be in the courtroom of the Casey Anthony trial, maybe more people would care and do something about it.

#4: Greece Has Gone To Crap: Greece is broke so they have to cut spending and raise taxes. The people have not taken to this lightly, and have been in the process of burning down the country off and on for the past year. What’s crazy is that it’s actually getting worse. America, this could be your future and worse, which brings me to…

The Riots In Greece

#5: The Economy: Guess what, the economy isn’t getting better. Sure, there’s improvements, but for every market getting back up, another one falls into more trouble. As a result, everything is kind of stagnant in an unsure time where anybody doing anything doesn’t really know what thing to do, or when. So we’re kind of stuck until somebody currently doing something figures out what to do, or it fixes itself, or what Mitt Romney wants, Americans see him as the best person to fix it, so they elect him President and he fixes it.

If They Show This Image Again, It'll Be Permanently Burned Into Our Minds & TVs

Now that you really think about it, all the important news stories are kind of depressing in their own way. No wonder the media doesn’t want to cover it, and you don’t want to watch it. I mean, with all these horrible things happen, no wonder America is looking towards the trial of a possibly irresponsible mother who possibly neglected, abused, suffocated and killed her 3-year old daughter. Oh, wait… That’s kind of depressing too. But hey, it’s just a harmless bunch of crazy people doing crazy things, and there’s a cute little white girl we can all feel sorry for to give us all the illusion that we can watch the trial and root for justice to be served. I mean, it’s not like this is world-affecting or anything. No nuclear war can possibly come of this trial. No riots and end of the world scenarios here. No silly politicians being silly anywhere.

You can tell that to yourself to help you sleep at night, but at the end of the day, there’s always a list of stuff happening and a long list of stuff we need to do. It’s not all going to go away by watching a useless murder trial.